She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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