How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
