I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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