the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
We need to rekindle our bromance
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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