I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My dick has a subreddit
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize