whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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