We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Is Oprah even human
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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