Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
