What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
