he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
