I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
