On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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