i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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