Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
