Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
