Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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