how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
