Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
