Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
