I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
