Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
