plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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