ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
