Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
