Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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