dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
