I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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