but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
