dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
