So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
