Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
