then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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