I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
