i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
