I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
