And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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