i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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