she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm sobbing to NWA
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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