i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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