she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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