tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
