Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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