what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
