It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
