If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
