youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize