"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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