Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
