I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
