alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
