apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize