"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
