Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
