Duck Duck Cougar?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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