the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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