AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
