So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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