if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
