I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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