Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
