He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
