He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
