So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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