I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
