Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
