I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
