just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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