I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize