My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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