And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize