Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
