that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
