I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
